I LOVE sales pitches like that.

“Holy Shit!!! My landlord needs his rent, and I need to unload these cigars! Why else would I be selling a $450 box of cigars for $12.50!?! I must be friggin insane!!!!! The loss of my sanity is your wallet’s gain! You’d have to be a complete idiot not to take advantage of my mental handicap.

This deal is so good, even non smokers would be morons to pass it up!!”

Matter of fact, screw it… I’m selling this $600 box of cigars… did I say $450? I meant $600 box of cigars… for $9.99. With free shipping!! Truth is, I need to bail my daughter out of a Turkish prison. I need money NOW. My daughter’s plight is your gain!!

Omaha Steaks hires a similar copy writer, I believe