As part of a weekly series, an Esquire staffer who’s (relatively) clueless in the kitchen will learn how to cook from Top Chef‘s new online cooking program. After hours of lessons, will he learn enough to feed Tom Colicchio, or just flunk out of Top Chef University?

Two weeks of cooking school, and I still haven’t picked up a knife. Thatnever would have happened at the Cordon Bleu, but I guess it’s just anotherthing you miss out on as an online college student. Like homecoming or alacrosse team to be ashamed of.

At least I’m finally done with “The Basics.” My kitchen is stocked (kindof), and I learned that what I call a pot is actually a sauce pan. Whichmust mean it’s time to buy knives.

TCU doesn’t recommend a particular brand, which is surprising consideringthe prominence of GE appliances and the “Glad family of products” on theshow. So I decided to ask around. I checked with our food editor, our foodwriter, and even our sex columnist. Interestingly, all of them recommendedthe same company: Wusthof.

Although Carla described five or six different kinds of knives, only threewere considered essential: a chef’s knife (for almost everything), a paringknife (for peeling and more intricate work), and a bread knife (for breadsand surprisingly soft-skinned fruits). So those are the three I got.

Bring on the practice carrots.