Here’s a secret ballot. Vote for your favorite barbecue accessory:

1. Spatula, Tongs and Fork

3. Rib racks, rotisseries, baskets

Okay, we’ve deliberate made the list simple rather than complex (you don’t see propane gauges on there, do you?). but when it comes right down to it, don’t we all have our very favorite utensil or gadget that helps us barbecue like kings and queens? so bear with me; I will set out the virtues of each and then you can vote.

Spatula, tongs and fork

What would you do without them? Vote for the long-handled spatula, that broad flat steel “spoon” that lovingly distributes the morsels on the grate and positions them for maximum sear, without risk to your fingers and hands. and the tongs, of course, which are the only proper way to turn anything, be it meat or veggie, and without which you would have flavorless dry food that no one could eat. Finally the fork – never, ever turn the food with a fork, it does nothing but desiccate. but it has one important job – prying the lost bits of food out of the basin where they have slipped through the grate. Very important set of tools!

True, the knives precede the actual cooking phase, but could you realistically put out a respectable barbecue without being the proud owner of a terrific set of professional chef knives? you need to prepare the cuts of beef, pork or chicken properly – you don’t have to be flashy and slice at a million miles a second like Bobby Flay, but you do have to have a fondness for wielding the knife yourself. Vote for knives, anyone?

Rib racks, rotisseries, baskets

This is actually the category for “all those things that help you cook better and prevent you from trying to use the grate for stuff to which it is not well suited.” so vote for the basket that enables you to cook cherry tomatoes with nary a casualty. Praise the rotisserie that roasts that whole organic free range chicken to the most succulent, tender stage; you could never quite achieve the same thing baking on the grate. and rib racks, of course, let you attain that even crispy coating that makes ribs the most popular of all barbeque items. This category has to be at the top of your list.

All of the rest of the entrants can be replaced, without much loss. (You can always flip the burgers using a big knife or your fingers). the smoker box, however, is unique to the barbeque and it is uniquely important. No matter what kind of grill you have, the smoker box enables you to get the benefits of all types of wood flavors, from fruitwoods to mesquite to hickory. nothing imparts that outdoor barbecue taste like wood chips in a smoker box.

Your party would not be half as much fun if you weren’t out there in your “King of the Barbecue” apron for everybody to mock, all the while secretly envying your cooking prowess, now would it? Besides, grilling can be truly messy and you want to catch all those spills and grease with something other than your favorite sports star jersey. Finally, the apron is the billboard for that sad, sick, pathetic barbecue humor which in fact everybody finds hilarious. “Got buns?” – face it, that’s funny!

Ready? Now its time to vote!